The Soul Puzzle

By Mary K. Williams

Remember those broken heart necklaces that were popular a while back? You’d have some nice little sentiment across the heart, and then the necklace came apart and it’d be shared between two lovers. When the two halves came together, the jagged edges would align perfectly. When someone mentions the term “soul mate,” I think of those hearts.

And this soul mate thing; the notion of another being that will complete you, does this really exist? As if betrothed before birth; can humans be destined to belong to a perfect other half? I believe that this happens – for some. But not all of us fall into the category of such a pre-ordained romance. For as much as there are those unique couples that exist in some sort of wondrous state of a romantic vacuum – there are other relationship dynamics that fall into the pattern of the Soul Puzzle.

Imagine a rather large unfinished jigsaw puzzle. Some of the trees are done, about a third of the lake, but the rest is still a jumble of loose pieces waiting to be arranged. But once a piece is correctly fitted, it’s a great feeling of completion. Sometimes those pieces are placed in a flurry of action, you find one, and another and another – and other times it’s just a matter of trial and error. Eventually, more and more is filled in, but it is a process not to be rushed. Consider the following interactions:


Sarah, a young housewife from Phoenix, AZ joins a book club. It’s a diverse group and the ages range from a 15 year old girl to a Vietnam veteran in his 60s. Generally they are all pleasant, and Sarah looks forward to the weekly meetings. She gets along with everyone well enough, but finds herself striking up a friendship with Annie, a 41 year old software engineer who happens to be a lesbian.

They don’t have much in common at first, except as they discuss the different books and authors, they realize that they actually do share many a view point and find humor in the same things. After about a month, they are meeting for an occasional lunch, and going out after meetings for coffee. Sometimes they are joined by others in the book club, but Sarah and Annie are on their way to becoming good friends.

Or there’s Jake and Anthony who are youth soccer coaches for the same league – but what really links them is that they both have children with Down syndrome. These two men only see each other during soccer season, and don’t even get a chance to talk extensively during that time. But because of two or three deep conversations they’ve had in the last few years regarding the challenges and special needs of their children – they feel an extra kinship that they might not feel with another acquaintance.

That kinship or special bond that two people can feel for each other, of course can be romantic or sexual, which is an amazing and joyous connection. But we’ve all had bonds with others that we wouldn’t qualify as romantic but the intensity is the same. You can have a conversation with someone for as little as 10 minutes, but there can be a profound realization that you ‘know’ each other. In this context, the well worn idiom, “to know, in the biblical sense” – which implies sexual intercourse – is better understood. This clarity of recognition that someone else “gets you” can be as thrilling and significant as a physical union.

In this large puzzle of our life, we meet and interact with so many others over time, and while some people that we meet are fun or pleasant, there may never be any special connection. But other relationships, (even some bad ones) seem destined to form, and there’s that special awareness – the feeling that someone significant has just become part of your life, touched your soul – and another puzzle piece has just found its place.