by Mary K. Williams
Make new friends
And keep the old
One is Silver
And the other’s Gold.
This refrain from my Girl Scout days has been streaming through my head recently, while thinking about both my past and my future. Changes are coming, whether by design or default, and I am trying to make sense of it all. My past I can handle, but it’s that darned unknown that brings a nice little bit of angst. And I find that this transitory state happens to correspond with the calendar.
There’s no way around it – September signals the most salient evidence of change. Although the weather does not change dramatically from August 31st to September 1st – the emotional climate usually does. Like starting school - whether it’s our children or just our own memories from those days – this can consume our energies at this time of year. And we grieve – just a little – for the passing of summer, in all its sandy, golden glory.
Silver and gold.
But still, September heralds promise. What cute new boy or girl will be in my class? Perhaps I’ll start my Christmas shopping now, for a change. Once the heat dies down, I’ll redecorate my living room. And then it’s time to go apple picking, and have everyone over to celebrate the harvest!
I suppose all the navel gazing about life and friendship spawned from my recent efforts to reconnect with some important friends in my life. In the last six months give or take, I’ve felt an uncomfortable mix of depression and uneasiness and I needed my girlfriends. The reasons for the malaise are varied and not that unique, watching one child graduate high school, worries about finances, careers (mine and my husband’s) – a smorgasbord of things that typically come from my demographic. Nothing horrible, but enough to put me in the sad position of both hostess and guest at my own pity party.
And boy did I want company. What good is a bitchfest if there’s no one to “fest” with? Now, my husband is pretty darn supportive, and he’s almost finished his training at the “Listening to Women” Institute. But still, it wasn’t enough. So, I started reaching out to the friends I’d counted on in the past. What I didn’t realize is that they were in the midst of their own trials.
Damn.
OK, if they couldn’t help me, perhaps I could help them? I continued to email or call, but only once in a while as to not be intrusive. Still nothing. But when we decided to have a party for my son’s graduation, most of my close friends were able to be there. Although we couldn’t indulge in an all night slumber party and or even have any deep conversations – it was a wonderful feeling to know that I was being shored up and supported during this happy but emotionally anxious time.
And that’s the thing, really. Sometimes, as we go through tumult and transition all we really need are a few smiling faces of genuine friends. No one can fight your fight for you, but they can be the Mickey Goldmill to your Rocky Balboa. My own personal “Mickey”, has been my friend Lynn. We met when we were very young; tiny, really. A friendship that formed with all the bluntness and naiveté of children has continued and strengthened for the last 45 years. And though we haven’t been part of each other’s lives as intimately as in childhood, we have been there for the weddings, births, and sadly – the deaths.
Although Lynn was there for my sister’s and father’s funerals, I felt the strongest, even primal need for her presence when my mother died in 2002 . To describe the ache to have her nearby is difficult. But another good friend understood perfectly. When I was making all the typical phone calls, Mary-Margaret asked in her always sincere way if there was anything she could do for me – and I blurted out, “I really need to get a hold of Lynn.” Although I knew it then, today I’m even more grateful for the fluidity of friendship that allowed one good friend to comprehend how important a bond is with another. I see it as a silver lining in any dark time.
Silver and gold.
Friday, September 7, 2007
Friday, August 3, 2007
New Paths, New Futures: Achieving Function and Inclusion
By Gene Hurwin, MA, OTR/L
The generation of parents-to-be who grew up in the 1950s and 60s were subjected to a style of child-rearing that did not, for the most part, honor the individuality of the child. Mainstream parenting convention of the time advised parents to view their child as an offshoot of themselves and provide the child (and thereby the family) with a strong, consistent grounding in morality and behavioral choices. As a consequence, a majority of children grew up with a strict sense of rules, a code of “right” and “wrong” as defined by the omnipotent parents and a society that had just emerged from a World War or the Korean War (1950s and 60s parents, respectively). Children were never consulted, never asked if a certain discipline was serving them. Communication between adults and children existed within strictly prescribed boundaries.
In the absence of the parental attention and affection present in a more “hands-on” parenting style, many of these children grew into adults who felt a severe emotional disconnect with their parents. In response, when they became parents themselves, their goals became to honor the child, to clearly and openly “see” the child as individual, to respect what the child needed, and to maintain a line of communication which allowed the child to provide feedback about his thoughts and feelings.
It was with this generation of parents that the words of Benjamin Spock, more commonly known as “Dr. Spock,” resonated forcefully. His psychoanalysis-based approach to child-rearing took the child’s individuality into account in a way that flowed against the mainstream current when he published his first book, Baby and Child Care, in 1946. However, by the time the pendulum started to swing in the opposite direction, his book had become an all-time bestseller, inspiring parents everywhere to “relax,” “take it easy,” and trust their instincts.
Dr. Spock’s enthusiastic readers were a generation of reactionary (albeit, justifiably) parents who were raising their children opposite of how they had been raised. Many of them did not heed his advice to “set limits,” and they certainly did not take into account the fact that children (even more so those with special needs) are born without any preconceived notion of what will serve them best in the world. To expect that children be able to dictate the parameters of learning or define the experience necessary to grow up in the world as successfully as possible is imposing an expectation which cannot be fulfilled.
Acknowledging the child’s unpreparedness to make those judgments does not necessarily involve a return to the child-rearing tactics of the 50s and 60s, however. Rather, it suggests the need for a synthesis of information. Honor the child, see the child’s individuality, and respect her essence and self; simultaneously, become the teacher/mentor/guide able to help the child perceive and understand the realities of the world and provide the tools she will need to be successful in this or any environment.
The ability to recognize a child’s individuality, while at the same time setting parameters within which he can safely operate and learn, is as indispensable to the practice of pediatric occupational therapy as it is to parenting. The overall goal of therapeutic intervention must be to help the child attain the ability to pursue his “occupation” – to play and socialize as effectively as possible – and to provide the tools necessary for the child to accomplish this pursuit as efficiently as possible. While it is possible for the OT to design a treatment plan and define the therapies that will best serve the long-term attainment of the goal, the process through which the goal is reached will not necessarily address the immediate desires and/or needs of the child.
A stark and somewhat dramatic example of this approach (one that is seen all too frequently with children with disabilities) involves food as a reward for compliance. Starting this practice from childhood in an attempt to effect cooperation sets the child up for eventual failure leading him, as a teen, to continue to demand food both before and after demonstrating compliance. In many cases, by the age of 18 the young adult is obese, at-risk for stroke, capable of throwing an intense public meltdown, and a safety hazard to himself and others in public venues such as malls, movie theaters, and restaurants. By 25, due to frequent aggressive behavior, the adult is institutionalized. This is a distressing ending to what seems like a simple incentive-based approach and makes vividly clear the consequences of action versus inaction viewed in relationship to the child to adult continuum.
If the aforementioned goal of providing the child with the tools to play and socialize effectively is to be accomplished, the relationship between the therapist and child must be clear and consistent: child/student to adult/teacher. With this relationship firmly codified at the beginning of the therapeutic relationship, the child can develop her identity knowing (and feeling) that she is valued and given complete regard. Simultaneously, she will begin to grasp the reality of the macrocosm that exists outside her immediate environment, and understand the necessity of an imposed structure. When expected to deal with this structure on a “going-forward” basis, utilizing tools provided by the therapist and trusting that the boundaries established by the therapist will stand firm (and thus provide protection for the child from herself), the child will gain, through experiential learning, the understanding that she can and will be successful.
In order to be in the world, the autistic child must deal with imposed structures present at every turn. If the child is habituated to self-direction, the imposed structure becomes onerous and intolerable. It is the therapist’s responsibility to set the expectations appropriately and redirect the child’s effort towards successful inclusion in the larger world. A child who can demonstrate tolerance to structure is a safer child, a child that can be included rather than excluded.
It is important that this article not be perceived as an endorsement of a totalitarian mentality for children with special needs. Instead, it should be viewed as an encouragement to look at the times in which we live and grasp the socio-structural challenges present: hurricanes, earthquakes, gang culture, global warming, terrorism, AIDS, drugs, and more. Being in the world for the autistic individual is serious business.
The fairy-tale family structure of Ward, June, Wally, and Beaver was great in the 50s, but those days are no longer. John, Paul, George, and Ringo sang, “All you need is love” in the 60s, but love is not enough these days. If real success is to be achieved for the child with special needs in today’s world, it can only be through a symbiotic relationship between structure and love. In pursuit of the perfect symbiosis, pediatric occupational therapists are entrusted with a serious set of responsibilities: informed and enlightened by sensitivity, OTs must provide children with structure, train them to be safe by utilizing the tenets inherent to OT, and, most importantly, help them strive for independence within the structural dictates of the world of “now.” This world, while not utopian, is full of potential for both the therapist and the child. Recognizing the challenges of our world today, the potential for success these challenges present, and their own indispensable function in the special needs community will allow occupational therapists to make the difference they are capable of making and to create new paths and new futures for this millennium’s children.
The generation of parents-to-be who grew up in the 1950s and 60s were subjected to a style of child-rearing that did not, for the most part, honor the individuality of the child. Mainstream parenting convention of the time advised parents to view their child as an offshoot of themselves and provide the child (and thereby the family) with a strong, consistent grounding in morality and behavioral choices. As a consequence, a majority of children grew up with a strict sense of rules, a code of “right” and “wrong” as defined by the omnipotent parents and a society that had just emerged from a World War or the Korean War (1950s and 60s parents, respectively). Children were never consulted, never asked if a certain discipline was serving them. Communication between adults and children existed within strictly prescribed boundaries.
In the absence of the parental attention and affection present in a more “hands-on” parenting style, many of these children grew into adults who felt a severe emotional disconnect with their parents. In response, when they became parents themselves, their goals became to honor the child, to clearly and openly “see” the child as individual, to respect what the child needed, and to maintain a line of communication which allowed the child to provide feedback about his thoughts and feelings.
It was with this generation of parents that the words of Benjamin Spock, more commonly known as “Dr. Spock,” resonated forcefully. His psychoanalysis-based approach to child-rearing took the child’s individuality into account in a way that flowed against the mainstream current when he published his first book, Baby and Child Care, in 1946. However, by the time the pendulum started to swing in the opposite direction, his book had become an all-time bestseller, inspiring parents everywhere to “relax,” “take it easy,” and trust their instincts.
Dr. Spock’s enthusiastic readers were a generation of reactionary (albeit, justifiably) parents who were raising their children opposite of how they had been raised. Many of them did not heed his advice to “set limits,” and they certainly did not take into account the fact that children (even more so those with special needs) are born without any preconceived notion of what will serve them best in the world. To expect that children be able to dictate the parameters of learning or define the experience necessary to grow up in the world as successfully as possible is imposing an expectation which cannot be fulfilled.
Acknowledging the child’s unpreparedness to make those judgments does not necessarily involve a return to the child-rearing tactics of the 50s and 60s, however. Rather, it suggests the need for a synthesis of information. Honor the child, see the child’s individuality, and respect her essence and self; simultaneously, become the teacher/mentor/guide able to help the child perceive and understand the realities of the world and provide the tools she will need to be successful in this or any environment.
The ability to recognize a child’s individuality, while at the same time setting parameters within which he can safely operate and learn, is as indispensable to the practice of pediatric occupational therapy as it is to parenting. The overall goal of therapeutic intervention must be to help the child attain the ability to pursue his “occupation” – to play and socialize as effectively as possible – and to provide the tools necessary for the child to accomplish this pursuit as efficiently as possible. While it is possible for the OT to design a treatment plan and define the therapies that will best serve the long-term attainment of the goal, the process through which the goal is reached will not necessarily address the immediate desires and/or needs of the child.
A stark and somewhat dramatic example of this approach (one that is seen all too frequently with children with disabilities) involves food as a reward for compliance. Starting this practice from childhood in an attempt to effect cooperation sets the child up for eventual failure leading him, as a teen, to continue to demand food both before and after demonstrating compliance. In many cases, by the age of 18 the young adult is obese, at-risk for stroke, capable of throwing an intense public meltdown, and a safety hazard to himself and others in public venues such as malls, movie theaters, and restaurants. By 25, due to frequent aggressive behavior, the adult is institutionalized. This is a distressing ending to what seems like a simple incentive-based approach and makes vividly clear the consequences of action versus inaction viewed in relationship to the child to adult continuum.
If the aforementioned goal of providing the child with the tools to play and socialize effectively is to be accomplished, the relationship between the therapist and child must be clear and consistent: child/student to adult/teacher. With this relationship firmly codified at the beginning of the therapeutic relationship, the child can develop her identity knowing (and feeling) that she is valued and given complete regard. Simultaneously, she will begin to grasp the reality of the macrocosm that exists outside her immediate environment, and understand the necessity of an imposed structure. When expected to deal with this structure on a “going-forward” basis, utilizing tools provided by the therapist and trusting that the boundaries established by the therapist will stand firm (and thus provide protection for the child from herself), the child will gain, through experiential learning, the understanding that she can and will be successful.
In order to be in the world, the autistic child must deal with imposed structures present at every turn. If the child is habituated to self-direction, the imposed structure becomes onerous and intolerable. It is the therapist’s responsibility to set the expectations appropriately and redirect the child’s effort towards successful inclusion in the larger world. A child who can demonstrate tolerance to structure is a safer child, a child that can be included rather than excluded.
It is important that this article not be perceived as an endorsement of a totalitarian mentality for children with special needs. Instead, it should be viewed as an encouragement to look at the times in which we live and grasp the socio-structural challenges present: hurricanes, earthquakes, gang culture, global warming, terrorism, AIDS, drugs, and more. Being in the world for the autistic individual is serious business.
The fairy-tale family structure of Ward, June, Wally, and Beaver was great in the 50s, but those days are no longer. John, Paul, George, and Ringo sang, “All you need is love” in the 60s, but love is not enough these days. If real success is to be achieved for the child with special needs in today’s world, it can only be through a symbiotic relationship between structure and love. In pursuit of the perfect symbiosis, pediatric occupational therapists are entrusted with a serious set of responsibilities: informed and enlightened by sensitivity, OTs must provide children with structure, train them to be safe by utilizing the tenets inherent to OT, and, most importantly, help them strive for independence within the structural dictates of the world of “now.” This world, while not utopian, is full of potential for both the therapist and the child. Recognizing the challenges of our world today, the potential for success these challenges present, and their own indispensable function in the special needs community will allow occupational therapists to make the difference they are capable of making and to create new paths and new futures for this millennium’s children.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Vacation Blues
By Mark Saleski
What's Going On Here?
Every summer, my wife and I partake of that great American tradition - the vacation. We pack up the Jeep, load in the dog, and head to our favorite getaway spot - a small town on the coast of Maine. Over those two weeks, that rental house becomes out new home as we make our best attempt at sloughing off the dead skin of the working, "responsible" life.
So what's the problem? Over the last couple of years, we've found that the end of vacation and the transition back to 'normal' life has caused what seems like an inordinate amount of grief. Should two grown adults feel sorrow verging on depression because of this? What's going on here? Does this happen to anybody else?
Causes: A First Pass
While trying to work my way through this situation, a couple of seemingly obvious causes surface: our attraction to this town as "The Perfect Place," and the yearly vacation as a marker for the passage of time.
Had the little coastal retreat become idealized in our minds as the perfect town? The place where nothing ever goes wrong? The ultimate buffer between us and the rest of our lives? No doubt, there is some truth in this idea. There's a reason we refer to these places "getaways." It has slowly dawned on me that this particular location, because we've been there so many times, has indeed become that place. The fictional Shangri-La.
Time passes us by (or sometimes: drags us along) and there's not a whole lot to be done about it. If things are going well, perhaps it's not a problem. There are times though, when the 365th day clicks by – again – and serves to do nothing more than remind us that we're not completely in control. That we, our loved ones, EVERYBODY – is headed in that same direction - and that maybe we should be making a little more haste, making those plans more of a reality.
The Reality
Though the reality of our situation does contain shades of the above elements, there are a couple of very concrete issues that bring on the vacation blues: my career difficulties and our epiphany about "community."
I've been writing software for almost 25 years. Like most careers, it's had its moments of fantastic reward as well as grief-inducing frustration. Writing has been a more recent vocation, one that has taken hold of me with surprising force. Now that I'm so heavily involved with it, I can't imagine doing anything else. Of course, this makes for a particular brand of cognitive dissonance. Two weeks on vacation go by during which I am nothing but a writer. That time passes and the reality is that I must go back to the world of networks and control systems. It doesn't feel quite right anymore, but what to do? What's the right thing to do when the community you've been a part of for so long leaves you with that "outside looking in" feeling?
Well, "community" can mean many different things. There are communities of place and communities of like minds. Our vacation spot is the most basic of communities, the small town. This year, we finally realized that this place's "small townness" plays a huge factor in our perceptions. Physically, we can walk anywhere. Nothing is more than ten easy minutes away. But convenience is not the issue. It's the feeling that we're a part of the town. Even though we are tourists, many of the town's residents become familiar - the mailman, that waitress, the clerk at the bookstore. This is an experience that's difficult to come by in suburbia, one that resonates with us to an alarming degree.
Outlook
We are certain that our tourist status will one day be erased - we will move to this town. One community problem solved. In the meantime, the career angst will continue. While it doesn't move me toward a solution, I take comfort in the fact that I'm not alone in my occupational ambivalence. I'll deal with the slow move toward a conclusion by imagining my future profession, by wrapping myself in the written word, and by looking forward to those two weeks on the coast...
What's Going On Here?
Every summer, my wife and I partake of that great American tradition - the vacation. We pack up the Jeep, load in the dog, and head to our favorite getaway spot - a small town on the coast of Maine. Over those two weeks, that rental house becomes out new home as we make our best attempt at sloughing off the dead skin of the working, "responsible" life.
So what's the problem? Over the last couple of years, we've found that the end of vacation and the transition back to 'normal' life has caused what seems like an inordinate amount of grief. Should two grown adults feel sorrow verging on depression because of this? What's going on here? Does this happen to anybody else?
Causes: A First Pass
While trying to work my way through this situation, a couple of seemingly obvious causes surface: our attraction to this town as "The Perfect Place," and the yearly vacation as a marker for the passage of time.
Had the little coastal retreat become idealized in our minds as the perfect town? The place where nothing ever goes wrong? The ultimate buffer between us and the rest of our lives? No doubt, there is some truth in this idea. There's a reason we refer to these places "getaways." It has slowly dawned on me that this particular location, because we've been there so many times, has indeed become that place. The fictional Shangri-La.
Time passes us by (or sometimes: drags us along) and there's not a whole lot to be done about it. If things are going well, perhaps it's not a problem. There are times though, when the 365th day clicks by – again – and serves to do nothing more than remind us that we're not completely in control. That we, our loved ones, EVERYBODY – is headed in that same direction - and that maybe we should be making a little more haste, making those plans more of a reality.
The Reality
Though the reality of our situation does contain shades of the above elements, there are a couple of very concrete issues that bring on the vacation blues: my career difficulties and our epiphany about "community."
I've been writing software for almost 25 years. Like most careers, it's had its moments of fantastic reward as well as grief-inducing frustration. Writing has been a more recent vocation, one that has taken hold of me with surprising force. Now that I'm so heavily involved with it, I can't imagine doing anything else. Of course, this makes for a particular brand of cognitive dissonance. Two weeks on vacation go by during which I am nothing but a writer. That time passes and the reality is that I must go back to the world of networks and control systems. It doesn't feel quite right anymore, but what to do? What's the right thing to do when the community you've been a part of for so long leaves you with that "outside looking in" feeling?
Well, "community" can mean many different things. There are communities of place and communities of like minds. Our vacation spot is the most basic of communities, the small town. This year, we finally realized that this place's "small townness" plays a huge factor in our perceptions. Physically, we can walk anywhere. Nothing is more than ten easy minutes away. But convenience is not the issue. It's the feeling that we're a part of the town. Even though we are tourists, many of the town's residents become familiar - the mailman, that waitress, the clerk at the bookstore. This is an experience that's difficult to come by in suburbia, one that resonates with us to an alarming degree.
Outlook
We are certain that our tourist status will one day be erased - we will move to this town. One community problem solved. In the meantime, the career angst will continue. While it doesn't move me toward a solution, I take comfort in the fact that I'm not alone in my occupational ambivalence. I'll deal with the slow move toward a conclusion by imagining my future profession, by wrapping myself in the written word, and by looking forward to those two weeks on the coast...
Thursday, July 5, 2007
The Soul Puzzle
By Mary K. Williams
Remember those broken heart necklaces that were popular a while back? You’d have some nice little sentiment across the heart, and then the necklace came apart and it’d be shared between two lovers. When the two halves came together, the jagged edges would align perfectly. When someone mentions the term “soul mate,” I think of those hearts.
And this soul mate thing; the notion of another being that will complete you, does this really exist? As if betrothed before birth; can humans be destined to belong to a perfect other half? I believe that this happens – for some. But not all of us fall into the category of such a pre-ordained romance. For as much as there are those unique couples that exist in some sort of wondrous state of a romantic vacuum – there are other relationship dynamics that fall into the pattern of the Soul Puzzle.
Imagine a rather large unfinished jigsaw puzzle. Some of the trees are done, about a third of the lake, but the rest is still a jumble of loose pieces waiting to be arranged. But once a piece is correctly fitted, it’s a great feeling of completion. Sometimes those pieces are placed in a flurry of action, you find one, and another and another – and other times it’s just a matter of trial and error. Eventually, more and more is filled in, but it is a process not to be rushed. Consider the following interactions:
Sarah, a young housewife from Phoenix, AZ joins a book club. It’s a diverse group and the ages range from a 15 year old girl to a Vietnam veteran in his 60s. Generally they are all pleasant, and Sarah looks forward to the weekly meetings. She gets along with everyone well enough, but finds herself striking up a friendship with Annie, a 41 year old software engineer who happens to be a lesbian.
They don’t have much in common at first, except as they discuss the different books and authors, they realize that they actually do share many a view point and find humor in the same things. After about a month, they are meeting for an occasional lunch, and going out after meetings for coffee. Sometimes they are joined by others in the book club, but Sarah and Annie are on their way to becoming good friends.
Or there’s Jake and Anthony who are youth soccer coaches for the same league – but what really links them is that they both have children with Down syndrome. These two men only see each other during soccer season, and don’t even get a chance to talk extensively during that time. But because of two or three deep conversations they’ve had in the last few years regarding the challenges and special needs of their children – they feel an extra kinship that they might not feel with another acquaintance.
That kinship or special bond that two people can feel for each other, of course can be romantic or sexual, which is an amazing and joyous connection. But we’ve all had bonds with others that we wouldn’t qualify as romantic but the intensity is the same. You can have a conversation with someone for as little as 10 minutes, but there can be a profound realization that you ‘know’ each other. In this context, the well worn idiom, “to know, in the biblical sense” – which implies sexual intercourse – is better understood. This clarity of recognition that someone else “gets you” can be as thrilling and significant as a physical union.
In this large puzzle of our life, we meet and interact with so many others over time, and while some people that we meet are fun or pleasant, there may never be any special connection. But other relationships, (even some bad ones) seem destined to form, and there’s that special awareness – the feeling that someone significant has just become part of your life, touched your soul – and another puzzle piece has just found its place.
Remember those broken heart necklaces that were popular a while back? You’d have some nice little sentiment across the heart, and then the necklace came apart and it’d be shared between two lovers. When the two halves came together, the jagged edges would align perfectly. When someone mentions the term “soul mate,” I think of those hearts.
And this soul mate thing; the notion of another being that will complete you, does this really exist? As if betrothed before birth; can humans be destined to belong to a perfect other half? I believe that this happens – for some. But not all of us fall into the category of such a pre-ordained romance. For as much as there are those unique couples that exist in some sort of wondrous state of a romantic vacuum – there are other relationship dynamics that fall into the pattern of the Soul Puzzle.
Imagine a rather large unfinished jigsaw puzzle. Some of the trees are done, about a third of the lake, but the rest is still a jumble of loose pieces waiting to be arranged. But once a piece is correctly fitted, it’s a great feeling of completion. Sometimes those pieces are placed in a flurry of action, you find one, and another and another – and other times it’s just a matter of trial and error. Eventually, more and more is filled in, but it is a process not to be rushed. Consider the following interactions:
Sarah, a young housewife from Phoenix, AZ joins a book club. It’s a diverse group and the ages range from a 15 year old girl to a Vietnam veteran in his 60s. Generally they are all pleasant, and Sarah looks forward to the weekly meetings. She gets along with everyone well enough, but finds herself striking up a friendship with Annie, a 41 year old software engineer who happens to be a lesbian.
They don’t have much in common at first, except as they discuss the different books and authors, they realize that they actually do share many a view point and find humor in the same things. After about a month, they are meeting for an occasional lunch, and going out after meetings for coffee. Sometimes they are joined by others in the book club, but Sarah and Annie are on their way to becoming good friends.
Or there’s Jake and Anthony who are youth soccer coaches for the same league – but what really links them is that they both have children with Down syndrome. These two men only see each other during soccer season, and don’t even get a chance to talk extensively during that time. But because of two or three deep conversations they’ve had in the last few years regarding the challenges and special needs of their children – they feel an extra kinship that they might not feel with another acquaintance.
That kinship or special bond that two people can feel for each other, of course can be romantic or sexual, which is an amazing and joyous connection. But we’ve all had bonds with others that we wouldn’t qualify as romantic but the intensity is the same. You can have a conversation with someone for as little as 10 minutes, but there can be a profound realization that you ‘know’ each other. In this context, the well worn idiom, “to know, in the biblical sense” – which implies sexual intercourse – is better understood. This clarity of recognition that someone else “gets you” can be as thrilling and significant as a physical union.
In this large puzzle of our life, we meet and interact with so many others over time, and while some people that we meet are fun or pleasant, there may never be any special connection. But other relationships, (even some bad ones) seem destined to form, and there’s that special awareness – the feeling that someone significant has just become part of your life, touched your soul – and another puzzle piece has just found its place.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Ghost Chicks, Part 2
By Sarah Cook
As you read in last month’s article [Hot Psychology, May, 2007], the Ghost Chicks are two superbly talented women named Tara Deters and Lorrie Jones, who have devoted their life practice to tracking down and connecting with spiritual entities of all sizes, shapes, and habitats. These women are mothers, wives, and best friends, as well as absolute troopers who lack the overwhelming burden of skepticism that most of us have a difficult time trying to shake off. As promised earlier, here’s a look into the personal life of both of these magnificent women.
Lorrie Jones was diagnosed with a seizure disorder earlier on in life, but has been able to turn the situation into something that facilitates her work in supernatural research. The ability to do this is a big part of why the Ghost Chicks are so incredibly talented. They show us that even some very tough obstacles in life can be overcome.
“I believe that my seizures play a big role in my work, and that I just now understand a lot of my abilities. You have to understand that I truly believe I’m a poltergeist agent. A poltergeist is nothing more than a telekinetic "temper tantrum". When you look at the physical things that are being affected you can usually find out who the poltergeist "agent" is. In my case, I break computers, stoves, etc. It is well known. Studies have been conducted on poltergeist agents. In one study, 33 percent showed signs of epileptic-like activity in the brains that had been given neurological exams. In some cases, the "agent" felt much better when the telekinetic activity was released. I can tell you that I usually feel much better after something like this happens,” says Lorrie.
“Also,” she continues, “I will tell you that prior to the seizures and since; I have experienced out of body experiences (OBE). This is another world unto itself. When you do this you can actually be seen in two places at one time IF someone actually sees you. But, it is very scary to me and I really do not like it. I can remember the experience as a kid and enjoying it, but not now. I am never afraid of anything, much less dying, since I have crossed that path once before, but it’s not like dying at all. It is an uncontrolled feeling. Having children and not being in control of yourself are two things that do not go hand in hand.” And boy, is that the truth. Thankfully, Lorrie has progressed to the point where she has felt more in control, which has been of great assistance to her career.
Tara Deters comes well-equipped with a BS in Psychology, as well as an intuitive streak that has helped her to guide others in developing their own intuitions and natural abilities. As mentioned earlier, Tara used to teach children with learning disabilities, which is how she met Lorrie. Along the way, she’s developed impressive skills for connecting with children on a very deep level, especially children who are in crisis-mode. Basically, she can reach out to the young ones when they need it the most, and when others are unable to reach them, like Lorrie’s son.
This is an example of the amazing ways that we can meet and connect with one another. Life has a way of putting people together when they are destined to do something huge, as these two women undoubtedly are on the right track to do. After all, ever since the Ghost Chicks came into existence, people all around the world are reading their research, listening to their experiences, and finally starting to believe that there’s something bigger than us out there.
And this is what they want people to know. Together, Tara and Lorrie are on a mission to enlighten the world with their knowledge, and in the end, their goal is to learn everything they can about the supernatural, as well as offer that information to anyone and everyone who’s willing to take it in.
If you want to learn more about the Ghost Chicks, or simply keep yourself informed their future radio and television appearances, your best bet is to pay close attention to their Myspace page, which they update frequently. These ladies are both very friendly and anxious to enlighten in any way they can, so feel free to email them with questions or comments. And remember, the supernatural is only real if you allow it to be, so open your heart to the unknown and see what you might learn.
As you read in last month’s article [Hot Psychology, May, 2007], the Ghost Chicks are two superbly talented women named Tara Deters and Lorrie Jones, who have devoted their life practice to tracking down and connecting with spiritual entities of all sizes, shapes, and habitats. These women are mothers, wives, and best friends, as well as absolute troopers who lack the overwhelming burden of skepticism that most of us have a difficult time trying to shake off. As promised earlier, here’s a look into the personal life of both of these magnificent women.
Lorrie Jones was diagnosed with a seizure disorder earlier on in life, but has been able to turn the situation into something that facilitates her work in supernatural research. The ability to do this is a big part of why the Ghost Chicks are so incredibly talented. They show us that even some very tough obstacles in life can be overcome.
“I believe that my seizures play a big role in my work, and that I just now understand a lot of my abilities. You have to understand that I truly believe I’m a poltergeist agent. A poltergeist is nothing more than a telekinetic "temper tantrum". When you look at the physical things that are being affected you can usually find out who the poltergeist "agent" is. In my case, I break computers, stoves, etc. It is well known. Studies have been conducted on poltergeist agents. In one study, 33 percent showed signs of epileptic-like activity in the brains that had been given neurological exams. In some cases, the "agent" felt much better when the telekinetic activity was released. I can tell you that I usually feel much better after something like this happens,” says Lorrie.
“Also,” she continues, “I will tell you that prior to the seizures and since; I have experienced out of body experiences (OBE). This is another world unto itself. When you do this you can actually be seen in two places at one time IF someone actually sees you. But, it is very scary to me and I really do not like it. I can remember the experience as a kid and enjoying it, but not now. I am never afraid of anything, much less dying, since I have crossed that path once before, but it’s not like dying at all. It is an uncontrolled feeling. Having children and not being in control of yourself are two things that do not go hand in hand.” And boy, is that the truth. Thankfully, Lorrie has progressed to the point where she has felt more in control, which has been of great assistance to her career.
Tara Deters comes well-equipped with a BS in Psychology, as well as an intuitive streak that has helped her to guide others in developing their own intuitions and natural abilities. As mentioned earlier, Tara used to teach children with learning disabilities, which is how she met Lorrie. Along the way, she’s developed impressive skills for connecting with children on a very deep level, especially children who are in crisis-mode. Basically, she can reach out to the young ones when they need it the most, and when others are unable to reach them, like Lorrie’s son.
This is an example of the amazing ways that we can meet and connect with one another. Life has a way of putting people together when they are destined to do something huge, as these two women undoubtedly are on the right track to do. After all, ever since the Ghost Chicks came into existence, people all around the world are reading their research, listening to their experiences, and finally starting to believe that there’s something bigger than us out there.
And this is what they want people to know. Together, Tara and Lorrie are on a mission to enlighten the world with their knowledge, and in the end, their goal is to learn everything they can about the supernatural, as well as offer that information to anyone and everyone who’s willing to take it in.
If you want to learn more about the Ghost Chicks, or simply keep yourself informed their future radio and television appearances, your best bet is to pay close attention to their Myspace page, which they update frequently. These ladies are both very friendly and anxious to enlighten in any way they can, so feel free to email them with questions or comments. And remember, the supernatural is only real if you allow it to be, so open your heart to the unknown and see what you might learn.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Stay Connected
By Mary Kay Williams
Information has come out regarding Cho Seung-Hui and his mental state months and even years before the April 16th shootings at Virginia Tech. A New York Times article reports that teachers and fellow students had become very concerned about him, due mostly to his work in several creative writing and playwriting classes held on the Virginia Tech campus.
Some of the concerned came together and met several times regarding the best way to handle Cho. They struggled with balancing artistic expression against the need to take official or even legal action. And indeed, how does one handle this?
Imagine a casual group of writers that share work through the Internet. What if one member’s submissions started to turn dark, morbid, or frightening? When is it appropriate for someone who is at best a casual online acquaintance step in and ask the writer what is going on?
Or a high school student tells her parents that a friend has made some disturbing comments about suicide, but that child is very clear that she don’t want her parents getting involved, at the risk of the troubled friend becoming angry with her?
“The general rule for not keeping confidentiality is whenever a person
clearly hints at or mentions the possibility of suicide or murder,
confidentiality goes out the window” says Thomas Franz, Professor in Counseling and Educational Psychology from University at Buffalo’s Graduate School of Education. Dr. Franz, who has written extensively on the process of grieving – and especially coping with the death of a child, adds:
“Of course the assumption is that getting the information into the hands of a responsible person will result in the student getting help from the system to avert the possible death. It usually does in the short run, but sooner or later (usually sooner) the student is "released" back into the community and life goes on.
The pain that led to the problem in the first place may or may not be gone.”
This doesn’t imply that official intervention is not beneficial, but it should be a collective responsibility – the kind of human caring that we hope to see in all situations. Call it paying it forward, or the “It takes a Village” mindset – we need to be willing to reach out to not just family and friends, but to casual acquaintances and even strangers.
Dr. Franz continues, “In doing suicide prevention programs in the schools,
we say that most suicides are prevented by simple acts of
friendship--things you might do without any thought of preventing
suicide, but that involve just being a good friend. Noticing when
somebody seems to be having a bad day, acting differently, being more
sullen, withdrawing, talking about violence, etc. and saying
something to the person about it. ‘You seem pretty quiet today.
Everything OK?’ ”
He concludes with these thoughts:
“Most people who attempt suicide or murder are disconnected from
meaningful human contact. The goal in prevention is to connect with
them, build a supportive network of people around them who care and
will pay attention whether by talking at length with them, doing
things with them, or just saying ‘Hi, howya doin?’ ”
In this industrial, digitized, ASAP society, we deal with the paradox of both the expansion and tightening of our personal boundaries. Emails, electronic bulletin boards, My Space and You Tube allow unbelievable ability to make contact with huge numbers of people, yet the very tools that allow us to do more, cause stress as we move overburdened and harried from one task to the next. Cell phones, iPods and SUVs may give us solace, comfort or convenience, but they can also create isolation.
We need to find a balance of awareness and compassion along with fulfilling our own needs. More often we need to ask each other, “Hi, howya doin?”
For more from this talented writer, click here.
Information has come out regarding Cho Seung-Hui and his mental state months and even years before the April 16th shootings at Virginia Tech. A New York Times article reports that teachers and fellow students had become very concerned about him, due mostly to his work in several creative writing and playwriting classes held on the Virginia Tech campus.
Some of the concerned came together and met several times regarding the best way to handle Cho. They struggled with balancing artistic expression against the need to take official or even legal action. And indeed, how does one handle this?
Imagine a casual group of writers that share work through the Internet. What if one member’s submissions started to turn dark, morbid, or frightening? When is it appropriate for someone who is at best a casual online acquaintance step in and ask the writer what is going on?
Or a high school student tells her parents that a friend has made some disturbing comments about suicide, but that child is very clear that she don’t want her parents getting involved, at the risk of the troubled friend becoming angry with her?
“The general rule for not keeping confidentiality is whenever a person
clearly hints at or mentions the possibility of suicide or murder,
confidentiality goes out the window” says Thomas Franz, Professor in Counseling and Educational Psychology from University at Buffalo’s Graduate School of Education. Dr. Franz, who has written extensively on the process of grieving – and especially coping with the death of a child, adds:
“Of course the assumption is that getting the information into the hands of a responsible person will result in the student getting help from the system to avert the possible death. It usually does in the short run, but sooner or later (usually sooner) the student is "released" back into the community and life goes on.
The pain that led to the problem in the first place may or may not be gone.”
This doesn’t imply that official intervention is not beneficial, but it should be a collective responsibility – the kind of human caring that we hope to see in all situations. Call it paying it forward, or the “It takes a Village” mindset – we need to be willing to reach out to not just family and friends, but to casual acquaintances and even strangers.
Dr. Franz continues, “In doing suicide prevention programs in the schools,
we say that most suicides are prevented by simple acts of
friendship--things you might do without any thought of preventing
suicide, but that involve just being a good friend. Noticing when
somebody seems to be having a bad day, acting differently, being more
sullen, withdrawing, talking about violence, etc. and saying
something to the person about it. ‘You seem pretty quiet today.
Everything OK?’ ”
He concludes with these thoughts:
“Most people who attempt suicide or murder are disconnected from
meaningful human contact. The goal in prevention is to connect with
them, build a supportive network of people around them who care and
will pay attention whether by talking at length with them, doing
things with them, or just saying ‘Hi, howya doin?’ ”
In this industrial, digitized, ASAP society, we deal with the paradox of both the expansion and tightening of our personal boundaries. Emails, electronic bulletin boards, My Space and You Tube allow unbelievable ability to make contact with huge numbers of people, yet the very tools that allow us to do more, cause stress as we move overburdened and harried from one task to the next. Cell phones, iPods and SUVs may give us solace, comfort or convenience, but they can also create isolation.
We need to find a balance of awareness and compassion along with fulfilling our own needs. More often we need to ask each other, “Hi, howya doin?”
For more from this talented writer, click here.
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Book Review: The Four Day Win
Review:
The Four Day Win: End Your Diet War and Achieve Thinner Peace
By Martha Beck, PhD
2007
Rodale Books, New York, NY
Reprinted with permission from Blogcritics Magazine
In deciding to review The Four Day Win, I'm not sure if the incentive was more to actually lose weight myself, or have a chance to evaluate work by Martha Beck, whom I've long admired as columnist for O Magazine. Go ahead and groan, but I'll have to conclude that either way; it’s a win-win situation.
Throughout she is clearly trying to reassure and convince the reader that she is on their side. She’s been there, and she’s been with others who've been there. She wants to save the reader from anymore self inflicted pain, poor body image, and stress than absolutely necessary. To express her belief – that dieters, or anyone struggling with life changes – have suffered long enough, often at their own hands; she uses a combination of humor and hard science. In fact, Beck’s humor is one of the book’s strengths, although it maybe be off-putting to some. She uses some jargon and catch phrases that might seem a little contrived. (Think Rachel Ray’s “EVOO”, or Jon Stewart and his “moment of Zen”).
But personally I found her style and humor delightful. Martha Beck’s desire to help others comes across the page easily. Her approach is non judgmental and it is very important to stress that although she doesn't necessarily champion one diet plan over another, she is firm in stating that no plan will work permanently without readjusting one’s outlook.
The premise of her book is this: Human nature allows us to learn new behaviors and adapt fresh outlooks in only about four days’ time. Beck, a Harvard trained life coach, noticed countless clients’ abilities to break through old patterns of behaviors in four days. A week was too daunting, and two or three days were not enough, but somehow four days would typically do the trick.
This rule of four is also found when learning phone numbers, account numbers or any longish series of information; the data will be internalized easier if broken down into three or four digit or character groups. Beck even saw a connection when a news broadcast stated that “they don't like to keep the [stock] market closed for 4 days.” The assumption attached is that a four day stretch is seen as “status quo” (and certainly having the NYSE down cannot be seen as the norm, not in a capitalistic society anyway.)
So what happens in these four day stretches? Brain retraining, to put it bluntly. Beck relates the work of a Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz, who had been studying the behaviors of people with OCD. Schwartz, an MD, showed his patients MRIs of their brains’ activities. These images would show atypically high activity in the section of the brain that initiates fear type reactions.
The significance of these findings proved amazing; Dr. Schwartz’s patients, once they could visualize what was going on in their craniums, could actually begin to talk themselves out of their compulsive behavior. Knowing that their urges to wash their hands, check their doors, or any number of compulsive behaviors were simply temporary brain aberrations helped them gauge their feelings more rationally. Then they'd substitute a pleasurable activity for the compulsive one, and eventually, after several sessions, the compulsion diminished significantly. What’s even more interesting is that when Dr. Schwartz took newer MRIs – he saw that his patients’ brains had been restructured.
Because Beck compares the urges behind OCD to those of overeating, she takes the significance of this restructuring or neuroplasticity to encourage the reader that there is most definitely hope for those who feel trapped by self-defeating mind sets. To further get the point across, Beck uses more of these kinds of real life examples to describe the theory behind The Four Day Win.
In a chapter called “The Body Whisperer”, she tells of a friend who is an accomplished horse whisperer and how this woman was able to completely connect with and subdue a horse that was so aggressive and unpredictable, that it was recommended that his owner shoot him. She was able to do this after much time spent observing horses’ behaviors and ‘language’. Beck’s point was that we need to understand and connect with our own physiology’s style which she calls Prey/Predator.
The Prey/Predator M.O. is like comparing the inner child-like scared part of us that feels cornered when the intellectual, bossy part of us decides that we need to lose weight. (Or Freudians may feel more comfortable with Id vs. Super Ego.) Our inner Prey creature is terrified of the stealthy Predator, and begins to sabotage all the good intentions of exercise and calorie limits. In The Four Day Win, Beck gives many simple – but often profound – exercises to continually help the reader recognize what they are really doing to themselves, and how to help their bodies trust their minds.
For more from this talented writer, click here.
The Four Day Win: End Your Diet War and Achieve Thinner Peace
By Martha Beck, PhD
2007
Rodale Books, New York, NY
Reprinted with permission from Blogcritics Magazine
In deciding to review The Four Day Win, I'm not sure if the incentive was more to actually lose weight myself, or have a chance to evaluate work by Martha Beck, whom I've long admired as columnist for O Magazine. Go ahead and groan, but I'll have to conclude that either way; it’s a win-win situation.
Throughout she is clearly trying to reassure and convince the reader that she is on their side. She’s been there, and she’s been with others who've been there. She wants to save the reader from anymore self inflicted pain, poor body image, and stress than absolutely necessary. To express her belief – that dieters, or anyone struggling with life changes – have suffered long enough, often at their own hands; she uses a combination of humor and hard science. In fact, Beck’s humor is one of the book’s strengths, although it maybe be off-putting to some. She uses some jargon and catch phrases that might seem a little contrived. (Think Rachel Ray’s “EVOO”, or Jon Stewart and his “moment of Zen”).
But personally I found her style and humor delightful. Martha Beck’s desire to help others comes across the page easily. Her approach is non judgmental and it is very important to stress that although she doesn't necessarily champion one diet plan over another, she is firm in stating that no plan will work permanently without readjusting one’s outlook.
The premise of her book is this: Human nature allows us to learn new behaviors and adapt fresh outlooks in only about four days’ time. Beck, a Harvard trained life coach, noticed countless clients’ abilities to break through old patterns of behaviors in four days. A week was too daunting, and two or three days were not enough, but somehow four days would typically do the trick.
This rule of four is also found when learning phone numbers, account numbers or any longish series of information; the data will be internalized easier if broken down into three or four digit or character groups. Beck even saw a connection when a news broadcast stated that “they don't like to keep the [stock] market closed for 4 days.” The assumption attached is that a four day stretch is seen as “status quo” (and certainly having the NYSE down cannot be seen as the norm, not in a capitalistic society anyway.)
So what happens in these four day stretches? Brain retraining, to put it bluntly. Beck relates the work of a Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz, who had been studying the behaviors of people with OCD. Schwartz, an MD, showed his patients MRIs of their brains’ activities. These images would show atypically high activity in the section of the brain that initiates fear type reactions.
The significance of these findings proved amazing; Dr. Schwartz’s patients, once they could visualize what was going on in their craniums, could actually begin to talk themselves out of their compulsive behavior. Knowing that their urges to wash their hands, check their doors, or any number of compulsive behaviors were simply temporary brain aberrations helped them gauge their feelings more rationally. Then they'd substitute a pleasurable activity for the compulsive one, and eventually, after several sessions, the compulsion diminished significantly. What’s even more interesting is that when Dr. Schwartz took newer MRIs – he saw that his patients’ brains had been restructured.
Because Beck compares the urges behind OCD to those of overeating, she takes the significance of this restructuring or neuroplasticity to encourage the reader that there is most definitely hope for those who feel trapped by self-defeating mind sets. To further get the point across, Beck uses more of these kinds of real life examples to describe the theory behind The Four Day Win.
In a chapter called “The Body Whisperer”, she tells of a friend who is an accomplished horse whisperer and how this woman was able to completely connect with and subdue a horse that was so aggressive and unpredictable, that it was recommended that his owner shoot him. She was able to do this after much time spent observing horses’ behaviors and ‘language’. Beck’s point was that we need to understand and connect with our own physiology’s style which she calls Prey/Predator.
The Prey/Predator M.O. is like comparing the inner child-like scared part of us that feels cornered when the intellectual, bossy part of us decides that we need to lose weight. (Or Freudians may feel more comfortable with Id vs. Super Ego.) Our inner Prey creature is terrified of the stealthy Predator, and begins to sabotage all the good intentions of exercise and calorie limits. In The Four Day Win, Beck gives many simple – but often profound – exercises to continually help the reader recognize what they are really doing to themselves, and how to help their bodies trust their minds.
For more from this talented writer, click here.
Thursday, March 8, 2007
Giddyup!
Welcome one and all to Hot Psychology's Feature Presentation section - in all it's bloggy goodness.
The staff of Hot Psychology is mighty jazzed up to be opening more channels of communications with our readers, and this is the place to learn tidbits of behind the scenes stuff concerning upcoming articles, or just odds and ends about the staff.
For example, did you know that Jim Idema, our Editor-in-Chief has a most favorite place in the world? It' Hawaii, and if we ask him real nice, maybe he'll invite us to his beach bungalow - that is, after he gets there eventually. And our Culture Editor, Pamela Meek is nuts about horses. I don't know about you, but when I was growing up, it seemed like every girl's dream was to have a horse.
Great, now all I can think about is horseback riding on a beautiful Hawaiian beach, I hope I can get some work done!
The staff of Hot Psychology is mighty jazzed up to be opening more channels of communications with our readers, and this is the place to learn tidbits of behind the scenes stuff concerning upcoming articles, or just odds and ends about the staff.
For example, did you know that Jim Idema, our Editor-in-Chief has a most favorite place in the world? It' Hawaii, and if we ask him real nice, maybe he'll invite us to his beach bungalow - that is, after he gets there eventually. And our Culture Editor, Pamela Meek is nuts about horses. I don't know about you, but when I was growing up, it seemed like every girl's dream was to have a horse.
Great, now all I can think about is horseback riding on a beautiful Hawaiian beach, I hope I can get some work done!
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Red Mustang on the 405
By Gerry Mandel
The Red Mustang sits in the driveway, its top down, here in the Hollywood Hills. My daughter Holly circles the car, wearing a Christmas-morning expression I had almost forgotten. The Mustang, a ‘69, is seventeen years old and cooler than new. I hold the envelope containing the cashiers check in my right hand.
The owner of the Mustang, Richard, a trim, middle-aged man in shorts, strolls out of the house, holding the title and keys. He carries himself with that relaxed, confident attitude one must master in Hollywood. Richard produces TV game shows and is moving back to New York, but doesn’t want to take the Mustang. “It belongs in California,” he told me the first time we talked a week ago, when a mutual friend had connected us.
Holly made her mind up years ago that she wanted to go to California for college. That’s a long way from St. Louis, where I live and she grew up. Until now, her second year at the University of California at Irvine, she has managed without a car. Now she needs wheels to
get around Irvine, around the beach communities of Newport and Laguna and Huntington, to head north to explore L.A. and destinations beyond. She finds horizons irresistible. Never one to ignore life’s possibilities, she is, without a doubt, much gutsier than I.
To read the rest of this article in Hot Psychology Magazine, click here.
For more from this talented writer, click here.
The Red Mustang sits in the driveway, its top down, here in the Hollywood Hills. My daughter Holly circles the car, wearing a Christmas-morning expression I had almost forgotten. The Mustang, a ‘69, is seventeen years old and cooler than new. I hold the envelope containing the cashiers check in my right hand.
The owner of the Mustang, Richard, a trim, middle-aged man in shorts, strolls out of the house, holding the title and keys. He carries himself with that relaxed, confident attitude one must master in Hollywood. Richard produces TV game shows and is moving back to New York, but doesn’t want to take the Mustang. “It belongs in California,” he told me the first time we talked a week ago, when a mutual friend had connected us.
Holly made her mind up years ago that she wanted to go to California for college. That’s a long way from St. Louis, where I live and she grew up. Until now, her second year at the University of California at Irvine, she has managed without a car. Now she needs wheels to
get around Irvine, around the beach communities of Newport and Laguna and Huntington, to head north to explore L.A. and destinations beyond. She finds horizons irresistible. Never one to ignore life’s possibilities, she is, without a doubt, much gutsier than I.
To read the rest of this article in Hot Psychology Magazine, click here.
For more from this talented writer, click here.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Celebrity Fighting
By Mary Kay Williams
It’s bad enough when Paris Hilton and Brandon Davis supposedly launched the ‘firecrotch’ assault on Lindsay Lohan, while Lohan herself and Hilary Duff brought public dissing to a new level. It’s further disheartening to hear that George Lopez reportedly mocked Jay Leno on a Florida radio talk show, and I don’t think Charlotte Rae and Joan Collins are going to be in the BFF category anytime soon
For more from this talented writer, click here.
It’s bad enough when Paris Hilton and Brandon Davis supposedly launched the ‘firecrotch’ assault on Lindsay Lohan, while Lohan herself and Hilary Duff brought public dissing to a new level. It’s further disheartening to hear that George Lopez reportedly mocked Jay Leno on a Florida radio talk show, and I don’t think Charlotte Rae and Joan Collins are going to be in the BFF category anytime soon
There are too many of these public arguments to count; Vince Neil and Axl Rose, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, Tyra Banks and Naomi Campbell, Eminem and everyone, Donald Trump and Rosie O’Donnell, and Donald Trump and Barbara Walters?
These feuds that range from stupid to sordid seem to increase exponentially each month. Sure, sometimes it’s amusing, as the previously mentioned Rae and Collins skirmish. Is it because we know that these gals are just a little older, and they are allowed the chance to speak their mind, even if it involves one calling the other a “bitch” in public? ...
To read the rest of this article in Hot Psychology Magazine, click here.For more from this talented writer, click here.
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